Walter Adolf Mallace December 1st, 1935 - December 15th - 2013

My Father passed away on December 15th, 2013, he was 78 years old.  On Wednesday, December 18th at one o'clock in the afternoon we had a beautiful memorial service honoring my father.

The service was held on the shore of Lake Michigan at the Gilson Park Lakeview Center in Wilmette, Illinois.  The Service was officiated by our friend, Rabbi Phil Lieberman and was attended by friends and family from near and far.

Below is his obituary, the program from the service along with thoughts from my daughter Jordie and eulogies my brother Jeffrey and I delivered paying tribute to our father. 

Obituary:

 Walter A. Mallace "Wally", age 78. Life-long friend, partner and beloved husband for 57 years of Judy, nee Malkan. Loving father of Michael (Fran) and Jeffrey (Claudia) Mallace. Cherished grandfather of Jordie and Sydney. Dear brother of Fred (Barbara) Mallace. Fond brother-in-law of Bob and Sally Malkan. Memorial service Wednesday 1 PM at the Gilson Park Lakeview Center, 800 Gilson Park Drive, Wilmette. In lieu of flowers contributions in Walter's name to the charity of your choice would be appreciated. Info Mitzvah Memorial Funerals, 630-MITZVAH (648-9824), or www.mitzvahfunerals.com.

Memorial Service Program:

 

Thoughts From Jordie Mallace:

Jordie eloquently spoke extemporaneously about her grandfather, here are the highlights;

While there were many stories to share, she selected the following favorites. She spoke about how she would do Math times tables long distance over the telephone with my father when she was younger, and her fond memories of the "Boys" trip (Jordie, my father and I) to Wisconsin where we went to visit my old Camp Horseshoe, Eagle River and Land O' Lakes where he went on family fishing trips as a kid and where we went as well.   She went on to say how my father would not let her get a souvenir Greenbay Packers "cheese head hat" because Mallace's are Chicago Bears fans and that hasn't changed.. Go Bears!   She also recalled the Children's museum in Chicago where she was the cashier and he was shopping for groceries and the visit to the Art institute of Chicago and her Harry potter obsession back then.

Finally, she ended by saying how proud her grandfather was of her and how he would tell her she could do whatever she wanted to do in life.  

She concluded with this quote;   

"A grandfather is someone with silver in his hair and gold in his heart"

Fran and I could not be prouder of how poised and in control Jordie was remembering her grandfather.

Eulogy from Michael Mallace:

Walter Mallace

December 1st, 1935 -  December 15th, 2013

Eulogy

December 18th, 2013

My father, Walter Mallace, was a great man.  He was dearly loved by my mother and his soul mate Judy of more than 57 years, my brother, and I, our wives, his granddaughters, along with his, brother, brother and sister in laws, cousins, nieces, nephews and countless friends.  He was a second generation American, of German, Russian decent, born in the middle of the Great Depression on December 1st, 1935.  His parents, Paul and Selma Mallace were a colorful couple from the south side of Chicago.

At a young age he started working, first by selling eggs that his Aunt Mary and Uncle Jack would send him from their farm in Iowa. He had a very diverse and eclectic career as he worked his way through high school and college. He Sold orange pop at Soldiers Field. He did have a few career setbacks in his youth. He was an Ice cream man for one day until the warehouse that garaged the truck burned down, he was an elevator operator in a high rise office building for one day and had to quit because he got dizzy going up and down all day, he worked for a furrier for a few days but had to quit that job because he broke out in a rash when he was near the fur, he even delivered mail for a while.  He hit his stride after leaving Roosevelt University when he started selling greeting cards for American Greetings Card Company.   This laid the foundation for a long and successful, thirty plus year career as a the proprietor of Paper Plus, a card, gift and party supply retail store in the blue collar town of Waukegan, Illinois.

Honesty, integrity, hard work, the highest moral standards, determination, fairness characterized my father.   He was a thoughtful man who stood for what was right and the good things in life.  He believed in the Golden Rule of doing on to others that you would want to be done on to you.  These were not just mere words, but were the basic tenants that he lived his life by.  He led by example and a had a work ethic second to none! These were the values, the guide-posts that were instilled in our moral fiber from our early days mopping the floors and emptying the garbage at the store in Waukegan.  Quite simply, he was the hardest working man I have ever known. 

He always taught us right from wrong. That there was no such thing as a free lunch and that if you wanted something you had to work hard and smart and save for it.  I remember when I was thirteen or fourteen he told me that I was not getting an allowance any more and that if I wanted money I would have to get a job. I angrily retorted,  "At my age where am I going to get a job" His response was,  "I guess you will have to come and work for me at the store on Saturday's."   I was not happy, but worked for my dad from that point on until I moved to Arizona to go to College.

My father was also very good at framing issues and putting them into perspective as well.  I fondly remember the time I asked for a raise from my meager three dollars an hour salary.  Without missing a beat.  This was his response.   "How many bosses do you know of that will wake their employees up in the morning, drive them to and from work each day and buy them lunch"  Needless to say, I didn't get the cash.  Although, What I didn't realize at the time and not until years later was that he really did give me the raise.  There is an old saying, "You can give a person a fish and they can live for a day.  Or you can teach a person to fish and they can live a life-time." I will cherish those Saturday's, the forty-minute drive we spent together each way to Waukegan and back.  I will always be grateful for the wisdom my father shared with me as teenager.  My Saturday's in Waukegan represent the most fruitful fishing expedition I've ever been on. 

Loyalty and friendship were paramount to my father.    My father was always great with numbers.  He could do calculations in his head faster than most people could do using a calculator.  It is no surprise that he parlayed that skill set and liked to play cards with his buddies when he was a kid.  To the very end, he still played Poker and Gin Rummy with some of the same gang from high school, Sunday school, college along with new friends he's made throughout his life.

Here are some Wally fun facts.  In High School, He was thrown out of home-room one day and sent to the Principals office because he was reading the racing form in the back of the auditorium.  It gets better, to add insult to injury, my grandmother was called to school because of the issue and she got into a car accident on the way and smashed her brand new Red Cadillac on the median in front of Hyde Park High School.  Of course it was my fathers fault that she hit the median, because my grandmother was so upset and could not concentrate.  He loved to fish and especially loved going to Wisconsin on annual summer vacations with my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.  In high school, He would borrow his Uncle Phil's car when he wanted to go out on a date. He was an exceptionally devoted son to his mother and father.

As a child my father was stricken with many ear infections, causing him to lose his hearing as a young adult, those were the days before antibiotics.  Ironically, while he had difficulty hearing, he was a great listener.  At twenty-nine, with two young boys, he suffered his first heart attack and was in the hospital recovering for months. By age fifty-five he had his first bypass surgery and ten years later he had his second bypass surgery, after that he had a kidney removed and along the way he was diagnosed with diabetes and lymphoma.   Aunt Merle affectionately called him Felix the Cat because he had nine lives.  He actually had a lot more than that.  My father was brave, always positive, courageous and a fighter.  He always looked at life as the glass being half full not being half empty.  He and my mother faced his health issues head on and never swept them under the rug.  Interestingly enough his father was a prizefighter, a boxer.  He was tough and instilled those instincts into my father.  The twelve rounds my father fought were not in the ring but in life regarding his health.  If you would look at him or you were with him, he was always in good spirit and put his best game face on.   He never let his health condition get in the way.  People would ask me, "How's your dad doing?" I would respond,  "He's great, but when you look under the hood, there are some issues."

He always preached to my brother and I to never quit.  I can tell you unequivocally, He practiced what he preached down to his last breath.  He fought a great fight.  As sad as this is, I don't look at his passing at 78 years old as a defeat, I look at it as a victory, a huge victory!  He defied the odds. He was with us a lot longer than even he thought he would be.  He won! and we also won, because we were all blessed by his presence and influence.

Finally, I want to tell you about a true love story, the story of my mother Judy and father.  Here is some more interesting Mallace trivia.  My mother's maiden name was Malkan, my parents went to Sunday school together, they were confirmed together and went to High School together, their pictures were next to each other in the Hyde Park High School yearbook, because Malkan was next to Mallace.  As my daughter would say,  "How Cool Is That!"  They were destined to be together! 

The story goes, that after high school my Aunt Carol, my father's cousin and my mother's friend, fixed them up on a date.  After the date my father asked my mother out again and again.  By the fifth date my mother was a little frustrated that my father had not kissed her and she told Aunt Carol that she was going to kiss him if he didn't kiss her.  The rest is history. 

Their marriage was solid.  I'm sure that there were ups and downs along the way, but it endured for fifty-seven years.  It was built on trust, honesty, mutual respect; it was a partnership at home and in the business.  But most importantly it was build on unwaveringly love for each other.

Mom, if dad were standing here now (and I believe that he is), I know he would tell you how much he was in love with you and how much he appreciated the way you looked out for him and you cared for him.  You were his champion; his advocate and you selflessly gave of yourself to make him comfortable when you knew he was hurting. You were his, lover, his rock, you were there in the good times and the challenging times, you laughed together and you cried together, you were best friends!  

Mom, I hope you can take comfort in knowing that he fought to the end for you, and that he was at peace.

Mom,.. dad thanks you and so do we!

Finally, my brother Jeff has so eloquently stated, Walter Adolf Mallace will be missed, but he will not be forgotten.

Thank you

 Eulogy from Jeffrey Mallace:

TRIBUTE TO MAX MALLACE

December 18, 2013

Good Afternoon:

You’ve heard from My Brother (Michael) and My Niece(Jordie) and now it’s my Turn. I’m Jeff Mallace. Jeffrey as my Dad would call me. The youngest of the Mallace Boys

Thank you for being here today. It means a lot to my Mom, Me, and our Family.  Michael did a wonderful job describing our Dad and his Life. I wanted to take a few minutes to share a few stories about our Dad, A Man I called MAX.

Some of you may now be confused, because the program says Walter and Wally in Quotes. One thing my Brother did not mention was that our Dad was very Big on respect and discipline. We ate Dinner together as a Family at 6:15p.m. Every night. That’s when our Dad would pull in the driveway from work and Dinner would be on the table. He always asked us about school, my sports, Michael’s radio, and told us what went on at the store that day.

So now you know the background, Here’s how the story goes. The Four of us were sitting in the Kitchen having Dinner. My Dad was sitting to my right and I said Dad. No response. I said Dad. No Response. I said DAD! No Response! If you recall, most of you know that my Dad was hard of hearing. Finally, I said “Hey Wally”. Well, Somehow he heard that. Before I knew it, a loving yet firm back hand to my cheek. My Dad said, you call me Dad, you call me Father, you call me Sir, but you don’t ever call me by my first name. I don’t know where it came from but immediately I responded “OK MAX” and as the words rolled off my tongue I was bracing myself for another Love Tap to the Cheek. My Dad looked at me smiled and it was MAX ever since!

Back in the day when we wrote letters it was Dear Mom and MAX. Envelopes where addressed Mr. and Mrs. MAX Mallace. Gifts of Belt Buckles and Pocket Knives, engraved with MAX were given. And even today, Our Dad’s legacy lives on with his email address.WWW.MAXCHICAGO.COM.

MAX’s impact has touched all of you here today and many others. I describe him as selfless, caring and compassionate. Humble, Funny, Loving and Proud! He was especially Proud of Michael and me.
I think most of you know that I work for Frito Lay. I will be in my 29th year and my Dad has s been there from Day 1 to teach me, coach me, and counsel me.

Last year Our Region won Frito Lay’s most prestigious sales award. It’s called the HW Lay award, named after our Founder. Every week MAX would ask me “how is your district doing”. I told him it was a Region and we were going to win the award. We did win and He was so PROUD and EXCITED, almost as if he were also on the Team. In my mind He was on the Team and will always be on the Team!

There are Five things I’d like To share with you about my Dad.

1.) He always asked me as a Kid If I owned stock in Commonwealth Edison. I guess we were always leaving the lights on.

2.) He always told me. “Jeffrey, sit down when you eat…Relax.” To this day when I’m standing in our Kitchen, or eating something on the run, I hear this voice in my head…”Jeffrey, sit down when you eat”.

3.) Stand up Straight! This is really good advice for a 5’6 Man.

4.) Always save for a rainy day. Max always said he was coming to me when he needed a loan. That day never came.

5.) He often threatened to move into Claudia and my House. I told him MAX, if you and Mom want to move in, No problem. You can sign over your Social security check, enter only through the garage, come upstairs when I say it’s OK, and Please make sure you turn off the lights. We don’t have stock in the electric company.  Last but not least, it’s our House and if you’re going to live in our House, you’ll have to live by our rules.

Sound Familiar to any Parents out there?

My Dad touched so many people’s lives’ in so many positive ways. You may think of him as a Husband, a Father, a Father in law, a Grandfather, a Brother, a Brother in law, a Cousin, a Friend, Michael or Jeff’s Dad. A Smart Guy, One of the Good ones!

I’ll always remember him as MAX…My Dad, My Friend, My Hero!

Thank you!

Gilson Park Lakeview Center

Walter A. Mallace "Wally", age 78. Life-long friend, partner and beloved husband for 57 years of Judy, nee Malkan. Loving father of Michael (Fran) and Jeffrey (Claudia) Mallace. Cherished grandfather of Jordie and Sydney. Dear brother of Fred (Barbara) Mallace. Fond brother-in-law of Bob and Sally Malkan. Memorial service Wednesday 1 PM at the Gilson Park Lakeview Center, 800 Gilson Park Drive, Wilmette. In lieu of flowers contributions in Walter's name to the charity of your choice would be appreciated. Info Mitzvah Memorial Funerals, 630-MITZVAH (648-9824), or www.mitzvahfunerals.com. - See more at: http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/chicagotribune/obituary.aspx?n=walter-mallace&pid=168592831#sthash.zXF1yrIO.dpuf

38 Hours In Chicago

I just arrived home from a whirlwind trip to Chicago. I was there for the day to attend the funeral of Danny Casas. Uncle Danny as I always called him was the father of my close friend Alan. Danny and his wife Merle were close, life-long friends of my mother and father and Danny was also a fraternity brother of my dad’s when they went to Roosevelt University in Chicago together.

I worked all day Wednesday. Craig Boston our Sales Manager led the team through an outstanding strategy session that day where we brainstormed great ideas for 2011. I left the meeting and headed to the airport where I flew to Chicago and arrived at midnight. A quick cab ride and I was at home with my parents. Things haven’t changed in 51 years, my mother was waiting up for me when I arrived. We talked a while and I went to bed.

After about three hours sleep, I awoke and was off to the airport again to pick up my friend Roger who was flying in on the red-eye from Los Angles. After picking up Roger at six AM, we went to the Doubletree Hotel and picked up another friend Scott (who lives in LA too) who coincidentally was already in Chicago on business.

Just like high school, with Roger and Scott and me driving my father’s car we were off to meet another friend Ken at Walker Brothers The Original Pancake House in Wilmette for breakfast. It was only seven o’clock in the morning and we were all together, just like we were thirty five years ago. And yes we had an apple pancake! And yes it was GREAT! We caught up, all expressed our sadness about Alan’s loss, yet we were having a good time and enjoying each others company the same way we did when we were kids in school.

After breakfast I dropped everyone off so we could get ready for the funeral. I went home had a quick nap, some conversation with my mother and father, a shower and I was off again to pick up Scott and Roger to go to the funeral home.

We had a dilemma? It was noon, the funeral started at one, we were a little hungry again and none of us had eaten a hotdog or beef sandwich since we arrived in Chicago. Did we have time to grab a dog and still get to the service on time? My parents were emphatic that we get there early and my mother was going to save us seats. Scott, always the wise one and the voice of reason said it was going to be a long day, we had the funeral, then the ride to the cemetery and the burial and we needed to eat something! Made sense, didn't have to twist my arm!

This will come as no surprise, we went to Portillo’s, I did something that I have never done before in my life. I ordered a hotdog plain with nothing on it, just a dog and a bun, no relish, or onions, peppers, tomato, mustard or celery salt. There was a method to my madness. I did not want to smell like a hotdog all day or drip mustard on my white shirt, tie or suit.

It took a little bit longer than we had calculated to get our order. When the food came, we devoured it! We had to have broken the land speed record for eating our feast. Roger had a dog with the works and Scott had the wettest Italian Beef sandwich I have ever seen and it smelled GOOD! We all shared an order of fries since we did not want to over do it. By the way, we were only five minutes late and arrived at the funeral home at 12:35.

When we arrived, there was a receiving line to pay your condolences to the family. We walked around the side, went right to the front to see Alan. We paid our respects and apologized for being a couple of minutes late for his dad’s funeral; we came clean with Alan and told him we stopped for some dogs. He wasn’t mad that we were late; he was disappointed that we did not bring him one.

The funeral was a traditional Jewish service. The Cantor spoke, sang and recited prayers in Hebrew. Alan’s sister Cindy spoke eloquently and delivered a wonderful, heartfelt eulogy about her father. She made us laugh and made us cry and evoke our own individual memories of her father.

Following the service, a procession was formed and we drove all the way to the south west side of Chicago to one of the oldest Jewish cemeteries in the City. It was a long drive using surface streets, taking over an hour to get there as we wound our way through the different neighborhoods of Chicago. As always, Scott was right, glad we had the hotdogs.

When we arrived at the cemetery it was cloudy, cold with a few raindrops. We all gathered around Uncle Danny’s grave, more prayers and more tears. Then, remarkably, as if on cue as the casket was being lowered into the ground, the sun forced its way through the clouds and it was bright and beautiful outside. No doubt this was some sort of sign.

As is tradition, we all preformed a “mitzvah” by helping shovel the dirt on top of the casket. As the casket was being covered with dirt the clouds came back and it started to rain harder and harder. Another sign I'm sure.

After the cemetery we all drove back north to Deerfield and went back to Cindy’s house to sit “Shiva” the custom of bereavement where visitors pay a visit to the mourners, share stories about the deceased, and are generally there to comfort the mourners and each other. There is typically a lot of good food. This was certainly the case at Cindy’s house. There were some outrageous deli platters. All of my favorites from corned beef to Chopped liver, rye bread, kosher salami, dill pickles, egg salad also, cookies, pastries, chocolate covered pretzels, candy nuts and more. Most importantly, it was a gathering of good friends and family reminiscing about Uncle Danny, old times and catching up on years gone by.

Shiva was over close to 10p and we still owed Alan that hotdog from earlier in the day. While none of us were really that hungry, Alan, Roger and I decided to go to the new Super Dawg in Wheeling and just relax. Old habits are hard to break. Just like the old days, we would end our nights out with either a slice of pizza or a hotdog. This night would be no different. Alan told us as we were coming home from our Vienna indulgence that his father would have been proud of us for being together and having a dog that evening!

I have come to the conclusion that Jews like to medicate themselves with food! Maybe it’s just me… “I don’t think so….”

Back home to my folk’s house by midnight. Guess what? My mother was waiting up for me and wanted to debrief me on the entire day. Finally, went to bed by one and slept until ten this morning. Then, my mom and dad drove me to the airport. On the way we had a quick pit-stop for lunch. No hotdog, actually had a chicken gyro (very good). After a nap on the plane, landed in Phoenix at three-thirty and Home Sweet Home!

All in all, it was a nice day yesterday. A very nice day! A special day! How could that be, we were there for a funeral? There in lies the paradox. Good things come out of sad situations. It was a nice day because friends and family from near and far were all together, reminiscing, reconnecting, catching up and celebrating, celebrating a life!

As Much As Things Change... Nothing Changes At All

When I was a kid in high school, I was very fortunate. Our high school, New Trier West in Northfield, Illinois had a 100 watt FM radio station. It covered a large part of the north shore of Chicago. The friendships that were fostered at WNTH 88.1 FM in the mid 70's have continued for more than 30 years. We were a bunch of guys that had one thing in common. We ate, drank, breathed and slept the radio station, sometimes at the expense of our classes and grades, to our parents dismay. We were passionate, we wanted to learn about radio and broadcasting we had a love of music, electronics and most of all, we wanted to have fun!

Through the years we have all gone off in different directions and careers. Some still live in the Chicagoland area and some of us have moved out west. What is so special is that we have maintained our friendship through the years.

At this point, I must note that I am the youngest of the group. I will turn 49 this month. The majority of the guys have already turned 50 or are turning 50 this year. With that said, we thought it would be great if we all got together in Las Vegas for a weekend to celebrate everyones 50th birthday. A mini high school reunion if you will. We have done this periodically through the years and always have a good time.

This year it was no different but a bit more symbolic. As I get older, I get a little more sentimental as I cherish the times we all get together. We had the big weekend last week. Telling you that it was a great time would be an understatemt. It is hard to explane because we really did not do anything that was out of the ordinary except share each others company.

I'll share some hightlights in a minute.

First, a little insight into the group.... There were nine of us. The group from Chicago included Alan who travels around the country and the world selling electronic components, Loren who is an attorney specializing in realestate, Steve who is a doctor (MD), Kenny is a financial adviser and Bill is a CPA, accounting software consultant and now a pain (back) management specialist. Roger and Scott came from Southern California. Scott manufactures dance shoe's and costumes for dance schools around the world and Roger is a voice actor / actor and producer in Los Angeles. Tom came in from Portland and he is the former Chief Engineer of a number of television stations and now runs a media monitoring business in the Portland Area.

On with the story... We met and stayed at the Paris hotel in Vegas on Friday evening. We all look the same, some of us a little heavier, some of us with gray hair, some of us with no hair and then some of us with all of the above! We had drinks and caught up at the bar. Scott had arranged for us to go see Elton John that night. How symbolic was that? When we were growing up Elton John was at the top of his game, his "Good By Yellow Brick Road" album was one of the biggest albums of the 70's and we played Elton John songs all the time on WNTH. The concert was great! We came full circle! As a side note, both Loren and I agreed that "Grey Seal" off the "Good By Yellow Brick Road" album is one of our favorites!

The next day we did things that we would never do if we were with our wife and kids. We went to the Atomic Testing Museum and then went to an indoor shooting range where you could shoot just about any type of handgun or riffle. I didn't shoot, but I was the official photographer. There were some very interesting people at the target range! All and all a great day. It was capped off by a relaxing couple of hours at the pool hanging out in the jacuzzi and in lounge chairs talking and picking up where we had left off the last time we were all together.

Growing up we would hang out, go to the movies and always end up the night having pizza some where. The places I remember were Jakes, Carvelle, Yesterdays and Barnaby's. It was fitting that we went out for a nice Italian dinner. Once again, Scott came through and suggested that we go to Il Mulino at the Forum shops at Ceasar's.

A fabulous choice! This could be one of the best Italain restaurants I've ever eaten at. Instead of stuffing our faces with pizza, we were gorging ourselves with fine northern Italian cuisine. Back in the day we would share cheese, peperoni, sausage and veggie pizzas. At Il Mulino we were sharing Grana Padano (cheese), bruschetta, garlic breads, country bread, focaccia, chicken Parmesan, veal, ravioli, shrimp fish and more. And just like 30 years ago we told stories laughed and had a great time.

One of the more comical and telling events of the evening was right at the beginning after we sat down. The waiter brought over the menus. It was so dark and the printing was so small on the menu that none of us could see. We all had to borrow Steve's pocket L.E.D penlight so we could see what to order. I guess our eyes are not what they used to be. As always, Steve was prepared and there to save the day!

I have known these guys for more than half my life and I realized a few things. First, it doesn't matter how long it has been since we have seen each other or spoken, we just pick up where we left off the last time. And for as much as everything changes, nothing really changes at all.

When I got home, I looked at the girls and see them with all of their friends. I wonder who they will be friends with 30 plus years from now. I only hope that they are as lucky as I have been.